What If I've Already Messed Up?

Virtually every time I speak to young people about purity, someone will ask the question (usually anonymously), “What if I’ve already messed up?” I am happy to report that there is good news for those who have committed sexual sins but who wish to be made pure and whole once again! God’s forgiveness covers all sin for all time, and He alone can and will restore a person’s spiritual purity. If you have any doubts, read David’s confession from Psalm 51 below.

“1For the choir director: A psalm of David, regarding the time Nathan the prophet came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.

“Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins. 2Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin. 3For I recognize my shameful deeds – they haunt me day and night. 4Against you, and you alone, have I sinned; I have done what is evil in your sight. You will be proved right in what you say, and your judgment against me is just. 5For I was born a sinner – yes, from the moment my mother conceived me. 6But you desire honesty from the heart, so you can teach me to be wise in my inmost being.

 “7Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. 8Oh, give me back my joy again; you have broken me – now let me rejoice. 9Don't keep looking at my sins. Remove the stain of my guilt. 10Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me. 11Do not banish me from your presence, and don't take your Holy Spirit from me. 12Restore to me again the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you. 13Then I will teach your ways to sinners, and they will return to you.

“14Forgive me for shedding blood, O God who saves; then I will joyfully sing of your forgiveness. 15Unseal my lips, O Lord, that I may praise you. 16You would not be pleased with sacrifices, or I would bring them. If I brought you a burnt offering, you would not accept it. 17The sacrifice you want is a broken spirit. A broken and repentant heart, O God, you will not despise. 18Look with favor on Zion and help her; rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. 19Then you will be pleased with worthy sacrifices and with our whole burnt offerings; and bulls will again be sacrificed on your altar” (Psalm 51 NLT).

The first step to being restored is to appeal to God for mercy and cleansing (vv. 1b-2).

“Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins. 2Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin.”

It is only because of God’s unfailing love and compassion for us that we can receive forgiveness at all. He promises us that “…if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong” (1 John 1:9 NLT). Appealing to God’s mercy is acknowledging that we take Him at His word.

The second step toward restoration is to admit your sins to God (v. 3) and to repent of them. To repent means to first acknowledge sin and then choose against it; literally to do an “about face” and to walk in the opposite direction. In verse three, David acknowledged his sin:

“For I recognize my shameful deeds – they haunt me day and night.”

He did not try to rationalize, minimize, or neutralize his sin. He looked it square in the face and admitted to himself and to God that it was shameful.

The next step toward restoration is to agree with God that all sin is against Him and that His judgment again us is just. In verse four, David admits this to God.

“Against you, and you alone, have I sinned; I have done what is evil in your sight. You will be proved right in what you say, and your judgment against me is just.”

All sin is against God, no matter who else might be involved, and our sin offends Him. Others may forgive us for offenses we have committed against them, but only God can forgive our offenses toward Him.

Next, as David did in verse six, we must ask God for wisdom to help us to avoid sin.

“But you desire honesty from the heart, so you can teach me to be wise in my inmost being.”

To be restored, the sinner must accept, by faith, God’s ability and willingness to forgive and cleanse all sin. In the following verses David confesses his faith in God to restore him in every area of his life.

“⁷Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. ⁸Oh, give me back my joy again; you have broken me – now let me rejoice. ⁹Don't keep looking at my sins. Remove the stain of my guilt. ¹⁰Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me.”

Next we must accept God’s Presence in our lives to restore our joy and make us willing to obey Him.

“¹¹Do not banish me from your presence, and don't take your Holy Spirit from me. ¹²Restore to me again the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you.”

It is only through the power of the Holy Spirit that we can resist temptation and live a sinless life. David learned this the hard way. It the above verses he begs God to not take His Holy Spirit from him. Thankfully for us, as believers we have God’s Spirit living within us as our guarantee that we belong to Him. And according to His Word, “As we know Jesus better, his divine power gives us everything we need for living a godly life. He has called us to receive his own glory and goodness!” (2 Peter 1:3 NLT).

Finally, once we have been forgiven and restored, we must admonish others to forsake their sin and turn to God. David committed to do this in verse 13.

“Then I will teach your ways to sinners, and they will return to you.”

One of the best things you can do in response to your own failures is to help others to avoid the stumbling blocks that tripped you up.

There is life after sin, no matter how egregious, and one’s purity can be restored in God’s eyes.

It is important to note that all sin has consequences, but some sins produce lasting consequences which cannot be undone. In David’s case, a son was born as a result of his immoral relationship with Bathsheba. He later lost four of his sons and was betrayed by another. The price of sin can be very high, indeed. God forgave David and cleansed him of all his sins, but he still suffered its consequences over the remainder of his life.

Sin left unchecked and unconfessed in a Christian’s life produces guilt and shame which ultimately lead to confusion and a feeling of purposelessness. Sin can block our ability to hear God’s voice and to know His purpose for our lives. Allowing sin to continue will ultimately keep us from fulfilling God’s plan and cause us to lose our rewards.

The good news, however, is that God is bigger than our sins! He will use even our failures for our good, to help us to grow as Christians.

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” (Romans 8:28 NLT)

God never does anything halfway. Whatever He does, He does completely. When we mess up and genuinely ask God to forgive us, He not only forgives us, but He also cleanses us of every wrong so that we may once again stand righteous before Him.

God can and will restore our purity, just as He did David’s, if we admit to Him that we have sinned against Him and genuinely desire to be made right. Through the shed blood of Jesus, we can be made as pure as the new driven snow in God’s sight. God’s forgiveness is like a pardon, only better. Through Christ He offers propitiation, which is the complete removal or expiation of our sin. God promises to remove our guilt, not just cover it up.

No sin can be undone, but once it has been admitted to God and forgiven, the best way to minimize Satan’s ability to use it against you is to learn from it and to help others to learn from it as well. Confessed and forgiven sin becomes a part of your testimony and can be used to keep Satan at bay. His accusations are no longer true against a believer who has fully appropriated forgiveness and cleansing from sin. When he tries to remind us of past sins, we refer him to our Advocate, Jesus Christ, Whose shed blood has literally covered (blotted out) any record of those sins.

God wants to know that our hearts are broken by our recognition and acknowledgement of the sin in our lives. True repentance means turning our back sin, and vowing to God that by His grace and with His strength we will cease sinning. God will always hear a genuine admission of guilt, and He will always restore a broken and repentant heart.

Even if you have messed up, there is good news and hope for you! God is not only our Creator; He is also our Restorer. He restores broken vessels, replaces ashes with beauty, and gives joy in place of mourning and provides praise in the place of despair.

“To all who mourn in Israel, he will give beauty for ashes, joy instead of mourning, praise instead of despair. For the LORD has planted them like strong and graceful oaks for his own glory” (Isaiah 61:3 NLT).

There is no sin that you have committed that is so egregious that God cannot forgive it. Nothing you have done could possibly have thwarted God’s perfect plan for your precious life. It is never too late to start fresh. If you really want to receive God’s forgiveness and have your purity restored, follow these seven steps that David followed in Psalm 51.

1.  Appeal to God for mercy and cleansing (vv. 1b-2).
2. Admit your sins to God (v. 3).
3. Agree with God that you have sinned against Him and that His judgment against you is just (vv. 3-4).
4. Ask God for wisdom (v. 6).
5. Allow God to purify you, allow you to rejoice, remove your guilt, cleanse your heart, and renew your spirit (vv. 7-10).
6. Accept God’s Presence in your life to restore your joy and make you willing to obey Him (vv.11-12).
7. Admonish others to forsake their sin and turn to God (v. 13).

“19For God in all his fullness was pleased to live in Christ, 20and by him God reconciled everything to himself. He made peace with everything in heaven and on earth by means of his blood on the cross. 21This includes you who were once so far away from God. You were his enemies, separated from him by your evil thoughts and actions, 22yet now he has brought you back as his friends. He has done this through his death on the cross in his own human body. As a result, he has brought you into the very presence of God, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault” (Colossians 1:19-22 NLT).