Can God Still Use Me Even after I've Sinned?

“Help, I Messed Up!”

I don't know any other way to say it. I messed up! I blew it! I'm guilty! No excuses! I let a situation get to me that shouldn't have and I responded in a very childish and inexcusable way. In the heat of the moment, I instinctively tried to defend myself against what I had considered to be a personal attack on my integrity. The truth of the matter, however, was that I completely misjudged the motives of the others involved and subjected them undeservedly to my vitriol. Besides disrespecting and demeaning them, I also made a complete fool of myself.

Following my mess-up, I spent several days agonizing about how a professed 'follower of Christ,' one who wears His name, could have behaved in such an ungodly and selfish manner. More important than trying to figure out how or why it happened, however, was to determine what I could do to ensure that it never happened again. Ironically, this incident brought to mind a blog which I had written not too long before this titled, 'The Importance of Well-Chosen Words.' I almost felt mocked by my own words. I wish I had remembered it before this incident and had followed my own advice.

Following my meltdown, I spent hours in prayer, asking God to forgive me and to show me the root of the sin that triggered my inappropriate reaction. As I prayed, the Holy Spirit gently, but firmly guided my mind back to several incidents from my childhood in which I had been denigrated and made to feel that I didn't matter. Evidently, it happened enough times that though I knew the Truth—that I am created in God's image, that He has a blueprint for my life, and that He loved me enough to send His only Son to die for my sins—those feelings of insignificance remained, ready to surface at the least provocation. I continued praying, asking God to remind me to bring “every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5) and to replace each negative or untrue thought with the Truth of His Word.

It necessarily takes time for us to work through all the unresolved issues from our past, but it must be done for our sake as well as for the sake of others. No one should have to endure the kind of abuse I meted out on undeserving individuals, unintentional though it was. I wasn't aware of the unresolved issues in my life until I began searching my heart following the incident. Count on the devil, however, to find your weakness and exploit it when you are trying your best to serve the Lord. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not blaming the devil for my bad behavior. I was totally responsible. I’m just saying that it irks Satan no end when we honestly desire to serve the Lord and he will do everything in his power to stop us or at least render us less effective.

I will, no doubt, be learning from this experience for quite some time, but here are some of the things I've learned so far:

1.    I must admit when I'm wrong.

Nothing takes the impetus out of an apology like trying to offer justification (excuses) for why we wronged someone else. The fact of the matter was that I offended others! Trying to rationalize or justify my wrong behavior would only have made the situation worse. Following egregious sin is necessary to humble ourselves to get right with God and others. This doesn’t guarantee instant exoneration, but in time, God will restore us. God’s forgiveness was given at the cross, but our maturation takes time.

“So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and in his good time he will honor you” (1 Peter 5:6 NLT).

2.    I must confess my sin to God.

I had to realize and acknowledge that all sin is against God. In this case, I sinned against others, and it was important and right to ask their forgiveness. Before I could ask their forgiveness, however, I needed to acknowledge that I’d offended holy and righteous God and ask His forgiveness first. King David set the example for us following conviction of his sin with Bathsheba. Once we’ve settled the matter with Holy God and gotten our hearts right, we are in a much better frame of mind to ask forgiveness of those we’ve offended.

“Against you, and you alone, have I sinned; I have done what is evil in your sight. You will be proved right in what you say, and your judgment against me is just” (Psalm 51:4 NLT).

3.    I must confess my sin to those I’ve wronged.

I had barely ceased my tirade before the Holy Spirit’s conviction struck me right in the heart! I knew instantly that I needed to confess my sin to God and to those whom I had offended. Confession exposes sin to God’s light which neutralizes it and makes it less likely to reoccur. Confession is different from apology. We should always confess first to show that our hearts and attitudes are right before God. Confession doesn’t allow for excuses, and only when we’ve confessed our sin will our apologies ring true.

Sometimes it behooves us to confess our sins to other believers whom we can trust and who will pray for us and hold us accountable. Accountability is one of the best ways to keep from sinning. Having others pray earnestly for us can give us the power to avoid sinning in the future.

“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and wonderful results” (James 5:16 NLT).

4.    I must never let down my guard.

I was in the midst of preparing to serve and honor the Lord when I was blindsided by the enemy! I shouldn’t have been surprised. The devil likes to attack us when we're least expecting it, which is often when we’re attempting to serve the Lord. Think about what threatens him the most. He knows that he can’t steal our salvation, so the best he can do is seek to render us ineffective in doing God’s work.

What made this whole episode most egregious to me is the fact that it occurred at church with other believers in a situation where I was genuinely trying to serve the Lord. When God is (or should be) our primary focus, Satan gets jealous and will do everything in his power to distract us. I don't find him messing with me much when I'm involved in mundane things, but the moment I set forth to serve, honor, and glorify God, he throws his worst at me. We can never let down our guard. We must always remain aware and vigilant against the devil’s schemes.

“For we are not fighting against people made of flesh and blood, but against the evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against those mighty powers of darkness who rule this world, and against wicked spirits in the heavenly realms” (Ephesians 6:12).

5.    I must embrace godly sorrow as necessary and beneficial.

I quickly realized and admitted my sin and was instantly forgiven, but I still suffered a godly sorrow because of what I had done. Godly sorry is necessary, but temporary. It reminds us of the consequences of our sin which helps us to be less likely to sin again in the same area. Godly sorry helps turn us away from sin and back to God.

“For God can use sorrow in our lives to help us turn away from sin and seek salvation. We will never regret that kind of sorrow. But sorrow without repentance is the kind that results in death” (2 Corinthians 7:10 NLT).

6.    I must acknowledge and received God’s forgiveness!

It’s human nature to feel that we are undeserving of God’s forgiveness and to want to do penance for our sins. It's an insult to the Lord Jesus, however, for us even to entertain such a notion. Self-pity is ungodly and only makes the situation worse. Godly sorrow isn’t feeling sorry for ourselves. It’s silly and useless to wallow in self-pity once we’ve been forgiven. Any guilt we feel after we’ve been forgiven is 'false guilt' because true guilt, the result of sin, is dealt with completely through confession and repentance. I had to realize and admit that there was absolutely nothing I could add to Christ's completed work on the cross to earn forgiveness for my sin to be able to fully receive God’s forgiveness.

"But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong" (1 John 1:9 NLT).

7.    I must move on, once I’ve been forgiven.

According to Scripture, once I'd repented and sought forgiveness from those I’d offended, I was free to receive God's forgiveness and cleansing and move on. It wouldn’t have honored or glorified God to continue beating myself up and rejecting His perfect sacrifice for my sin. It’s dishonoring to God to ignore His Word and heap condemnation on ourselves when He’s made it clear that we have been justified.

“So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1 NLT).

I have to admit that even after I had dealt with matters following this incident, I was a bit fearful that I might somehow inadvertently commit the same sin again. God dealt with my fear by reminding me of the following truths:

"He has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of self-control" (2 Timothy 1:7 NLT).

“As we know Jesus better, his divine power gives us everything we need for living a godly life” (2 Peter 1:3a NLT).

"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" (Philippians 4:13 NLT).

Next time you mess up (and there will be a next time), remember that there is no sin so big or so horrible that God will not forgive if you confess it to Him and repent of it. And also remember that you are in good company. Moses, King David, the Apostle Paul, and Simon Peter all sinned egregiously against God, but not only did God forgive them; He also restored them, strengthened them, and used them mightily for His glory. By the same token, God can still use us ever after we’ve messed up.

“So receiving God's promise is not up to us. We can't get it by choosing it or working hard for it. God will show mercy to anyone he chooses” (Roman 9:16 NLT).